What is Codependency? Addicted to the Addict!
Have you ever had a need to be needed? Barbara Streisand said it, "People who need people...are the luckiest people in the world!" Well, sometimes.
Codependency is a dysfunction where you become enmeshed, entangled, obsessed and in fact, addicted to the person who is struggling with alcohol, drug, sex or gambling addiction. You lose yourself in the other! The codependent will rescue, protect, defend the addict, even when their own physical, emotional, or spiritual well-being is compromised. Many people feel codependency is a passive dynamic, au contrare, the codependent often will gain power by controlling the addict and manipulating them by using "get backs", empty threats, or become "the victim".
Just as alcoholism and drug addiction is a condition that requires treatment, so is codependency. Drug rehabs across the country treat people with codependency. Sometimes an alcoholic or addict will also struggle with codependency, since they may have been raised in an addicted family system.
If you feel that "helping" your loved one who may be an alcoholic or an addict, appears to be defining WHO you are, then you should be seeking help. Look at your own resistance to seek treatment...that may be a sign that you are a codependent. Your intentions are honorable, you probably even earned a purple heart in the battles you've engaged in over the addiction, but it should end. Your battling with your loved one over their addiction is not helping, not helpful!
If you are a codependent you are not helping your loved one. Let me repeat...if you are a codependent you are not helping your loved one! Run, don't walk to a CODA (Codependent Anonymous) or an Alanon meeting immediately. You need direction to find yourself, define your boundaries and figure out how to attract and maintain ADULT, MUTUAL relationships with others.
If you have any further questions, please call our 24-Hour HelpLine at (866) 478-9898.
Recuperatio Primoris! (Recovery above all else!)
Codependency is a dysfunction where you become enmeshed, entangled, obsessed and in fact, addicted to the person who is struggling with alcohol, drug, sex or gambling addiction. You lose yourself in the other! The codependent will rescue, protect, defend the addict, even when their own physical, emotional, or spiritual well-being is compromised. Many people feel codependency is a passive dynamic, au contrare, the codependent often will gain power by controlling the addict and manipulating them by using "get backs", empty threats, or become "the victim".
Just as alcoholism and drug addiction is a condition that requires treatment, so is codependency. Drug rehabs across the country treat people with codependency. Sometimes an alcoholic or addict will also struggle with codependency, since they may have been raised in an addicted family system.
If you feel that "helping" your loved one who may be an alcoholic or an addict, appears to be defining WHO you are, then you should be seeking help. Look at your own resistance to seek treatment...that may be a sign that you are a codependent. Your intentions are honorable, you probably even earned a purple heart in the battles you've engaged in over the addiction, but it should end. Your battling with your loved one over their addiction is not helping, not helpful!
If you are a codependent you are not helping your loved one. Let me repeat...if you are a codependent you are not helping your loved one! Run, don't walk to a CODA (Codependent Anonymous) or an Alanon meeting immediately. You need direction to find yourself, define your boundaries and figure out how to attract and maintain ADULT, MUTUAL relationships with others.
If you have any further questions, please call our 24-Hour HelpLine at (866) 478-9898.
Recuperatio Primoris! (Recovery above all else!)
Labels: addiction and family systems, addiction recovery, childhood trauma and addiction, Codependency
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