Resentments, alcoholics, and rehabilitation

Spend much time with alcoholics in recovery and inevitably the issue of resentments will arise. In most 12 step meetings and throughout the literature, resentments are discussed as the "number one offender" in driving alcoholics towards inappropriate if not fully insane behavior and on occasion directly back to the drink. The un-fully-recovered alcoholic is susceptible to resentments, the tendency to allow personal slights or earlier harms to fester and grow. At a certain point, previous hurts get disproportionate to their origins, they become all-consuming, attacking the alcoholic's resolve to live a serene and sober lifestyle.

"Resentments" really means what it's syllables break into--re--sentiment. The concept is one of having a feeling that remains re felt repeatedly and that doesn't diminish in intensity over time. Quite the opposite, these feelings seem to grow over time. Unfortunately, for alcoholics the prevalent feeling that grow is not positive--it's never a matter of burgeoning joy.

This is not just a problem for alcoholics, non-alcoholics (or normies) also can have resentments--but for non-alcoholics, the overwhelming feelings generally don't lead to life threatening behaviors. Good alcohol rehabilitation allows the alcoholic to examine their resentments, to process through their earlier harms and slights, and to develop coping strategies that will prevent these feelings from leading to catastrophic results. It's possible to live a life free of this pattern. Consider if this a freedom you want.